Do you ever feel like your life isn't going anywhere? I feel like I'm stagnating here, like I'm just existing day by day and there isn't a point to anything I'm doing. I read and draw and browse online and I go to school and I go to a job that I hate and I'm always tired and there isn't a point to this, none of it. I like school but a degree doesn't guarantee a job, and I have this choking concern that I'll never have a real career and I will disappoint everyone.
I just want to go to a cottage in the countryside and live there with my books and computer and stay there forever. No job worries, no money worries, just me and my existence.
I spent the last couple of hours downloading doujins. It gives me a real sense of satisfaction--finding good ones, finding rare ones--but then I sober up and realize that I spent a huge bit of time trying to obtain something that isn't even tangible.
But if it makes me happy, is it worth it?
This is why I could never be a total recluse NEET, these thoughts would plague me all day. At least the doujins were good. Pic related.